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少女足球 (2003)
Sexy Soccer

Reviewed by: ewaffle
Date: 06/18/2007

This is a movie for those who wish to see Matthew Ng Ting simulating sex. "Sexy Soccer" is a failure in every way imaginable (or at all that I could imagine) including its English title. It isn't sexy--or even interesting--and it isn't about soccer.

Reviewer Score: 1

Reviewed by: j.crawford
Date: 09/03/2006
Summary: The whole thing falls flat.

The following is from the DVD package; On a losing streak, soccer coach Rolando owes money to a loan shark and needs a winning team to ease his financial worries. With both his wallet and his life on the line, Rolando comes up with an ingenious plan. He creates an all-female soccer team composed of beautiful women in skimpy outfits. These girls don’t play by the rules, and they have a knack for distracting the competition. With this irresistible team, Rolando might just have a winner.

Sexy Soccer is an interesting title for this shot-on-video movie. Firstly, it is certainly not sexy, though this is a purely subjective concept. If you decide to watch this, you might find that it is sexy. To each, his own.

Secondly, there is hardly any soccer. Quite a number of scenes take place on a soccer court where the cast members shake their asses and expose their breasts to the opposing team. Director Dick Lau Tin-Sze's choice of slow motion effects only serve to enhance the fact that these actresses have no athletic skills, which goes well with their lack of acting abilities.

Thirdly, I think this is supposed to a comedy. It didn't work out. There are a couple of cute Cantonese word plays but the whole thing falls flat. Pardon the pun.

Reviewer Score: 3

Reviewed by: mrblue
Date: 09/17/2005

With the success of Shaolin Soccer, I guess it was only a matter of time before we had the softcore porn version of it. Sexy Soccer's Shakespeare-esque plot has a soccer coach who is in deep to a loan shark come up with the amazing idea of using hot chicks to form a team. And that's about it. Oh yeah, the coach manages to screw most of the girls on the team.

Actually, a lot of the comedy in the movie is pretty funny in a dopey Russ Meyer kind of way. Sexy Soccer definitely qualifies as "so bad it's good" material. Whether it's the ultra-cheap sets or horrible acting, if you like "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" material and have about two cases of beer handy, you can't go wrong with a viewing of Sexy Soccer.

As for the sex scenes, they're really nothing all that special. It's just your standard stuff of naked people acting (badly) like they're doing the horizontal mambo. Disappointingly, the film's cover girls (who have very big breasts that get referred to about every five seconds) never show their goods. At all. Not even a quick nipple shot. Still, there's more than enough T&A here to keep fans of this type of "clean" smut happy.

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